Farmville? Not in Cedarville.

Our Cantankerous Farmer quote this week: “Those Farmville people don’t know shit about this.”

We had a particularly disagreeable day at Cedar Creek Farm last weekend. Luckily, we don’t have to vaccinate and castrate more than a time or two a year, and trimming hooves is only an occasional necessity as well. But doing them all on one day, to all nine goats, kids included, is, as the Cantankerous Farmer puts it and I am inclined to agree, a bitch.

Wrestling large goats to hold them still, getting covered in manure, inflicting pain on them (for their own good!), and worst of all: while clipping their hooves, getting hoof trimmings pinging into your face. Ugh. If you had to do that on Farmville, I think it would be a lot less popular. (Note to Farmville farmers, if you do have to do this, keep your mouth firmly shut).

I’m not entirely sure what you have to do to participate in Farmville, only that the game involves clicking the mouse on your computer crops to water, weed, harvest, etc. But do you have to squish cabbage worms that are attacking your beloved broccoli? Do you have to figure out, again, how the damn goat is getting into the garden and eating all the leaves off your pepper plants? Does it involve putting a tiny rubber band around your bucklings’ balls and watching them holler for a day until they lose feeling? Do Farmville farmers have nightmares about wild animals attacking their herd?

Furthermore, do you get to taste the first tomato of the season and feel the juice bursting and flavor rolling around your mouth unlike any tomato you’ve had since last summer? Do you feel the satisfaction of looking around the table in the middle of the summer and seeing a feast entirely of your creation? As the Cantankerous Farmer put it so succinctly, “Those Farmville people don’t know shit about this.”