Pandemic Holidays, 2021 Edition

Here we are, standing in the doorway of December 2021. Pandemic life is not as constricted as it once was but it continues to be a tricky bugger. The rise and fall of variants keeps things unpredictable. In September when the kids were starting back at in-person school Delta was filling the ICU beds and my anxiety felt like a shrieking kettle as I sent my babies out into a world that seemed no safer than March 2020 (the main difference being Jeremy and I were vaccinated). Then Delta settled down for no reason scientists can figure out and things felt less scary and more doable. And now the Omicron variant is here, and frankly I've moved beyond anxiety to a comfortable place of not giving a damn. The kids are finally fully vaccinated and Jeremy and I are boostered. No one knows right now if Omicron (which I still don't know how to pronounce) is going to be a big deal or not, so instead of freaking out I'm centering myself around a completely unsupported-by-evidence belief (because the evidence doesn't exist yet) that everything's gonna be alright. It will. I'm sure of it. Right? Right. 

So, Thanksgiving! 

Pre-pandemic, I often found the holidays to be stressful and a lot of work. Jeremy has a big family, and they can be loud and discordant amidst laughter and good-natured ribbing between siblings and that warm feeling of being amongst a tribe, with occasional friction thrown in. Pre-pandemic, I didn't value the good parts about holidays enough, and I magnified the stressful parts in my head, so getting together was a daunting prospect. But this year, I needed that hot mess. I also desperately needed someone else to share the weight of putting together a celebration. So when William came down with a fever on Wednesday night, I had a minor meltdown. I thought, "That's it. We can't bring him around the over-65 set in good conscience. We'll have to stay home..." and my worry-fueled imagination kicked into high gear. Thanksgiving morning when he still had a fever I tried to do a home-COVID test on him, but he would not let me put the swab up his nose. He was just shaking his head back and forth, covering his face, screaming, and would not listen. So, I went into my room and cried, thinking we were going to have to miss the holiday, yet again. It was when I was crying that I realized how badly I needed that that family Thanksgiving where we bustle in with the pies I made, the mashed potatoes, the salad, and other people are bustling in with their meal contributions, and we all sit around and eat and talk and laugh and tell stories and tread lightly around family soft-spots, and fall into old rhythms, and then all go home again.

While I was in tears Taiya and Jeremy wandered in, and they both comforted me. Jeremy managed to work some William magic and did a COVID test, which came up negative. We told the extended family the situation and everyone decided that if we all wore masks they were comfortable with us coming. I got to work baking and spent the day making an apple pie, a cranberry curd tart with gingersnap walnut crust, mashed potatoes, and baked sweet potatoes. Plus, you know, breakfast and lunch since apparently people like to eat normal meals too even if you're in the middle of stirring cranberry curd tart filling over low heat for 15 minutes. Finally, eventually we all put on our nice leaving-the-house clothes and our masks and drove to town. And we had that lovely, normal, noisy, delicious family Thanksgiving (the cranberry tart was killer, if I do say so myself). When we drove home through the darkness back to our quiet holler, my heart as full as my tummy. 

Now that it is December and we are vaxxed to the hilt, we are looking toward our next adventure: Christmas in Vermont. I haven't been home in 2.5 years and it's been a looooong 2.5 years. I can't wait to do all the fun winter things with Taiya and William and my parents and old friends (Jeremy will be home manning the fort and playing with the bunnies and watching all the baby goats be born). I'm looking forward to a change of scene, time off work, and time with my favorite people on the planet in one of my favorite places on the planet. Omicron, don't you dare screw this up for me.