Day Thirty-Eight: Blah

It rained all day today, and I had a major case of the blahs. It all started in the morning when I found out that a poem I submitted to a thing was rejected. I had been nursing pie-in-the-sky hopes for it because I really love that particular poem, but it was not to be. That took the wind out of my sails and the rain didn't help. There was a brief pause in the rain, and I took Daisy for a short walk, and that gave me some room to breathe and not focus so much on my meager problems. The world has turned full-on green in the past two weeks, and the combination of gray skies and green trees was beautiful. Daisy was excited to be out exploring. Wildflowers blooming. Pine trees dripping rain drops from the tips of their needles.

When I got back from my walk I sat with Jeremy on the porch and told him I was feeling like a deflated balloon. He was just starting to read an Op-Ed in the New York Times called: Two Parents. Two Kids. Two Jobs. No Childcare, so he read it out loud to me. It was hilarious and spot on in its description of the ridiculous nature of being at home with two kids all the time. The blend of unconditional, soul-deep love mixed  by the minute with frustration, annoyance, and a persistent feeling of near-drowning. We have such sweet moments that pivot on a dime to screaming battles or sorrowful meltdowns (today William's morning was ruined because I put yogurt in his smoothie and refused to make him a non-yogurt smoothie. I always put yogurt in his smoothies, and it wasn't a problem until it was. Sigh.). I'm beginning to understand the whole "children should be seen and not heard" style of parenting from the Little House on the Prairie times (Taiya and I read the whole series of books this past year, and joked about how harsh they were on kids back then). When you're stuck at home together all the time, it sure would be nice to have some not-hearing once in a while. 

We let the kids watch Wild Kratts all morning, since it was rainy, and we were all feeling the Blahs. When I went inside after my walk and my chat with Jeremy, they popped their heads up and said, "Mama, did you know there are Pink River Dolphins?!" I am happy for shows that keep them happy on Blah days that also teach them cool stuff. 

I made grilled cheese sandwiches and sliced strawberries for lunch, and since it was such a rainy, blah day, I suggested we just embrace it and watch Return of the Jedi in the middle of the day. The kids were in favor of this plan. I watched with them, fast-forwarding through the scary giant-mouth-in-the-sand part, enjoying the Ewoks with them, and reassuring them that Luke would be okay. It was a welcome mental vacation.

I had a phone call with my office-mate in the afternoon, and we talked about grazing and soil health for about an hour. Sitting in my car in the rain, drinking tea, talking about projects to help improve grazing practices in Arkansas, which if it's done right improves soil health. It was a nice mental break from parenting, and a lovely conversation with a coworker who is also a dear friend. 

It was about time to get started on dinner. The kids were again watching Wild Kratts, learning about honey badgers and tigers. I made a butternut squash soup with coconut milk and curry spices, and sourdough biscuits, which I served along with sliced apples and cheddar. We ate inside since it was still damp and cold outside.

After dinner, Taiya and I made a sheet-fort in her room to read stories in with a flashlight. She decided to sleep in there, and we piled blankets and pillows on the floor. We read about Anne "confessing" to a theft she didn't do, and William and I read Up and Peter Rabbit.

Day Thirty-Eight, the Blah Day of Rain, is done. I don't know what to do about blah days except ride them out and try to keep up with the dishes. Hopefully day thirty-nine will be better.