Day 168: Sewing, and Facing An Unpleasant Task

Taiya decided we needed to craft today, and craft we did. We made a bunny and a cat out of black socks, stuffing, and embroidery thread, decorated with buttons and ribbons. It was exhausting. I don't know why sewing projects always take such a mental toll on me - it's not that hard - but it does. It hurts my brain. But, sweet, creative Taiya took the bunny and made her a pink outfit, and took the cat and made her a bed, a pillow, a scratching post, and balls of yarn for her to play with. I love when she gets on these creative streaks. William ignored all of this, though at one point he tried to convince me to make a reversible penguin/owl stuffed animal but I'd reached the end of my tether.  

Jeremy did, in fact, clean the porch for real today. He also tackled a task that we have been putting off for about five years, because it was just that unpleasant. We had a chest freezer that broke while full of food. This was back when William was a baby, Jeremy was farming like 20 hours a day, seven days a week, I was working full time, we were barely getting by, and life was just focused on getting through each day as it came. It was hard. When the freezer went out and the food rotted, we just... left it. We let it fester and rot and liquefy and finally subside. All the mess was contained within the freezer and we just left in the back room under piles of boxes. Until today. Jeremy put on some gloves and bagged up the horrendous, ungodly goo. He dragged the freezer outside and hosed it out so it can be taken to the landfill the next chance we get. Jeremy of course suffered the worst of it, but the smell permeated the house and even all around the house. I burned incense and lit candles, but the underlying stench of dead things wasn't to be covered up. 

It ain't much, but it's honest work.

It struck me that this is the perfect metaphor for where we are as a country. Long ago, a lot of bad things happened but instead of facing the facts, we just shut the lid on that box as if that could just make it go away. This year the lid has been blown off and we are all being assaulting with the stench and forced to reckon with problems that a lot of people wish could just go away. Systemic racism. White privilege. Police brutality. And now, to make real progress, everyone is having to get their hands into the mess so we as a whole can move forward into a future without those injustices festering in the foundations of our society. It's not easy, and it's not fun. But it is important. Doing the hard work of grappling with our past will make room for something vastly more beautiful. So, dig in people. It's going to be worth it in the end.